The Morse Family

Beyond Me

Beyond Me

Sunday, August 22, 2010

monkey worship

jackson and me in the living room sitting hunched over a plastic noah's ark..
can you find the animals that go in the boat, jackson.
"i do, mommy" he says with excited eyes looking around the room
i hear the thumping of toddler feet running around the house on hardwoods
he returns again and again to our spot in the living room with more plastic ark animals
a tiger...thump, thump, thump, thump
a sheep, a horse, a girraffe...saying each animal name as he runs them to the boat.
after 5 minutes or so, only one empty space remained on the boat.
what is missing, jackson?
"a moona" he yells..
the monkey is his favorite animal on the ark
he runs into his room
he runs back into the livingroom with sad eyes
"mommy, hep me" he laments
ok, mommy will help you look for the monkey
he grabs my hand and leads me into his room
i immediately notice a book laying on top of something on the floor
i pick up the book and there a plastic noah's ark monkey lays as if hiding from toddler eyes
jackson immediately grabs the monkey and holds it close
"moona, moona, mommy!  daddy, moona, moona!"
he jumps around into the hallway, then the dining room, then ends his victory dance in the livingroom, plopping down by the ark
i reach for the monkey to place it in the correct position on the ark
"no mommy, no! moona, moona! mine! jaxn, moona, mommy!" tears, snatches, anger
immediately I see it. i see myself..i see the child whose joyfulness, excitement, and thankfulness...turned to monkey worship.
Jonah's prayer from the belly of a whale:

 7 "When my life was ebbing away,
       I remembered you, LORD,
       and my prayer rose to you,
       to your holy temple.
 8 "Those who cling to worthless idols
       forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
 9 But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
       will sacrifice to you.
       What I have vowed I will make good.
       Salvation comes from the LORD."Jonah 2:7-9 (New International Version)

Lord, i see me. i see me in my son. i see that i am holding tightly to the things of this world...the ideals of this world...i see that i want control. i see that i want it bad enough to ignore You and ignore the things You are teaching me. Lord, give me a song of thanksgiving...give me a heart of sacrifice...

1 comment:

  1. I find parenting to be a magnifying glass on my own sin often. . .Painful, but part of the blessing. Erika :)