mothers day

i always struggle on mother's day...i build it up in my head that it will be a certain way...

if I was making my own mothers day i would have it be like this:

i would wake up to bacon smell in the air, coffee brewing in the kitchen..jackson and jack would come sneaking in and put food on a tray on the bed...corsage at church on my left shoulder ...yummy lunch at my fave restaurant that i didn't have to pick (jack just knew to take me there..)..then nap at home and dinner out at my other fave restaurant with my mohito to wash it all down...never having to make any decisions or lift a finger all day..jack would be kind to me all day.

how it will go:
i fix breakfast, jack complains that he feels sick, jack says happy mothers day, jackson says, "happy", jack presents me with a corsage that i reminded him i wanted and he called to ask me what flower i wanted and how much i wanted him to spend, jack asks where I want to go to lunch, i can't decide and when i finally do decide jack makes a face like that is way too expensive..so we end up getting in an argument and going home for lunch..i make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while i am stuff food in jackson's mouth so he will stop crying because he is sleepy and ready for a nap, we eat, we finish our argument, we do a mixture of sulking and discussing the rest of the day, jack sweetly asks me where i want to eat for dinner, jack still feels sick, i pick after lots of thinking and weighing...stressed from the long emotional day, i lay my head down on my pillow and think, "i really hate mother's day!"