for those of you who may not know me personally, thinking too much about myself and and my body is the chief sin that i struggle with..looks like me having to repent many times in a day..repenting when i pass a mirror, repenting when i see an outfit i don't like, repenting when i spend lots of time thinking about what i am going to wear, repenting when i feel devastation because i missed a workout...it manifests itself in so many ways..i am repenting lots.
yesterday a new woman joined my table at women's bible study. she rolled into study in an electronic wheel chair with the biggest smile and sparkle in her eyes. she had on a pink "i love Jesus" hat..that she quickly placed on her lap when she approached the table. her big smile brought joy to our table and also made me think too long about the teeth that her smile revealed. very crooked, very nasty teeth. i couldn't look at her face when i talked to her because i was afraid i would stare into her mouth too much. i tried to make small talk though. i wanted her to feel comfortable at our table, since i am the table leader that is kind of my job. everything i said, she smiled. with every smile was joy...and teeth. a constant internal reminder to me that i am God's child because i recognize His presence, but i am a wretched sinner because i can't look at yucky teeth.
the woman spoke none. she smiled lots. at one point during our study she pushed her scooter button to go in reverse to try to reach her slipper that had fallen off of her foot onto the floor. without thinking, i reached down and grabbed the very dirty, very stinky slipper and put it on her very dirty, very stinky foot. it was clear that she could not reach her feet easily. with that itty bitty act of service, i felt the Lord's presence very strongly inside of my body.
during prayer requests at the end of the study, she spoke. "feet...good...doctor...very good...feet..you know." is what she said. with each word there was long pause and her eyes watered as if she was trying with all of her body to make her words come together and make sense. at this point, another lady at the table explained to us that this woman had had a stroke and had trouble with speech and stringing words together.
we bowed our heads to pray..it is a popcorn style prayer where women at the table take turns praying for one another. after a few of the other women at the table prayed, the woman began to pray.
"Father...you know...love...women...pray...Father...you know...love....Father...love."
i knew the moment that she got the first word out of her soul into the room, that many tears were about to flow from my soul. i began to cry and after the first tear rolled down my cheek, the large amount of tears began to wash my face, my shirt, and my pants. the Lord used her prayer mightily in my innermost being. her prayer was cleansing to me.
she lacked every worldly idol to which i cling. her testimony had power. her joy was overwhelming.
My Father is alive. His plans are perfect. He is always at work.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
My web doesn't cover me but my God's clothing is armor!
Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save,
or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;
but your iniquities have made a separation
between you and your God,
and your sins have hidden his face from you
so that he does not hear.
For your hands are defiled with blood
and your fingers with iniquity;
your lips have spoken lies;
your tongue mutters wickedness.
No one enters suit justly;
no one goes to law honestly;
they rely on empty pleas, they speak lies,
they conceive mischief and give birth to iniquity.
They hatch adders' eggs;
they weave the spider's web;
he who eats their eggs dies,
and from one that is crushed a viper is hatched.
Their webs will not serve as clothing;
men will not cover themselves with what they make.
Their works are works of iniquity,
and deeds of violence are in their hands.
Their feet run to evil,
and they are swift to shed innocent blood;
their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity;
desolation and destruction are in their highways.
The way of peace they do not know,
and there is no justice in their paths;
they have made their roads crooked;
no one who treads on them knows peace.
Therefore justice is far from us,
and righteousness does not overtake us;
we hope for light, and behold, darkness,
and for brightness, but we walk in gloom.
We grope for the wall like the blind;
we grope like those who have no eyes;
we stumble at noon as in the twilight,
among those in full vigor we are like dead men.
We all growl like bears;
we moan and moan like doves;
we hope for justice, but there is none;
for salvation, but it is far from us.
For our transgressions are multiplied before you,
and our sins testify against us;
for our transgressions are with us,
and we know our iniquities:
transgressing, and denying the Lord,
and turning back from following our God,
speaking oppression and revolt,
conceiving and uttering from the heart lying words.
Justice is turned back,
and righteousness stands far away;
for truth has stumbled in the public squares,
and uprightness cannot enter.
Truth is lacking,
and he who departs from evil makes himself a prey.
The Lord saw it, and it displeased him
that there was no justice.
He saw that there was no man,
and wondered that there was no one to intercede;
then his own arm brought him salvation,
and his righteousness upheld him.
He put on righteousness as a breastplate,
and a helmet of salvation on his head;
he put on garments of vengeance for clothing,
and wrapped himself in zeal as a cloak.
According to their deeds, so will he repay,
wrath to his adversaries, repayment to his enemies;
to the coastlands he will render repayment.
So they shall fear the name of the Lord from the west,
and his glory from the rising of the sun;
for he will come like a rushing stream,
which the wind of the Lord drives.
"And a Redeemer will come to Zion,
to those in Jacob who turn from transgression," declares the Lord.
"And as for me, this is my covenant with them," says the Lord: "My Spirit that is upon you, and my words that I have put in your mouth, shall not depart out of your mouth, or out of the mouth of your offspring, or out of the mouth of your children's offspring," says the Lord, "from this time forth and forevermore." (Isaiah 59:1-21
or his ear dull, that it cannot hear;
but your iniquities have made a separation
between you and your God,
and your sins have hidden his face from you
so that he does not hear.
For your hands are defiled with blood
and your fingers with iniquity;
your lips have spoken lies;
your tongue mutters wickedness.
No one enters suit justly;
no one goes to law honestly;
they rely on empty pleas, they speak lies,
they conceive mischief and give birth to iniquity.
They hatch adders' eggs;
they weave the spider's web;
he who eats their eggs dies,
and from one that is crushed a viper is hatched.
Their webs will not serve as clothing;
men will not cover themselves with what they make.
Their works are works of iniquity,
and deeds of violence are in their hands.
Their feet run to evil,
and they are swift to shed innocent blood;
their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity;
desolation and destruction are in their highways.
The way of peace they do not know,
and there is no justice in their paths;
they have made their roads crooked;
no one who treads on them knows peace.
Therefore justice is far from us,
and righteousness does not overtake us;
we hope for light, and behold, darkness,
and for brightness, but we walk in gloom.
We grope for the wall like the blind;
we grope like those who have no eyes;
we stumble at noon as in the twilight,
among those in full vigor we are like dead men.
We all growl like bears;
we moan and moan like doves;
we hope for justice, but there is none;
for salvation, but it is far from us.
For our transgressions are multiplied before you,
and our sins testify against us;
for our transgressions are with us,
and we know our iniquities:
transgressing, and denying the Lord,
and turning back from following our God,
speaking oppression and revolt,
conceiving and uttering from the heart lying words.
Justice is turned back,
and righteousness stands far away;
for truth has stumbled in the public squares,
and uprightness cannot enter.
Truth is lacking,
and he who departs from evil makes himself a prey.
The Lord saw it, and it displeased him
that there was no justice.
He saw that there was no man,
and wondered that there was no one to intercede;
then his own arm brought him salvation,
and his righteousness upheld him.
He put on righteousness as a breastplate,
and a helmet of salvation on his head;
he put on garments of vengeance for clothing,
and wrapped himself in zeal as a cloak.
According to their deeds, so will he repay,
wrath to his adversaries, repayment to his enemies;
to the coastlands he will render repayment.
So they shall fear the name of the Lord from the west,
and his glory from the rising of the sun;
for he will come like a rushing stream,
which the wind of the Lord drives.
"And a Redeemer will come to Zion,
to those in Jacob who turn from transgression," declares the Lord.
"And as for me, this is my covenant with them," says the Lord: "My Spirit that is upon you, and my words that I have put in your mouth, shall not depart out of your mouth, or out of the mouth of your offspring, or out of the mouth of your children's offspring," says the Lord, "from this time forth and forevermore." (Isaiah 59:1-21
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
printing pictures from your iphone
Haven't you always wondered how to print all of those pictures that you take with your iphone...you take them, you love them, you share them on facebook.. then they kind of go into an abyss called the camera roll...well, I finally found out how to print them at a photo store!!! yay!!!
here are the steps...
here are the steps...
ok so you go to the app store on your phone..you upload the free walgreens app...you click on it once it is done uploading..you can automatically access all pictures on your phone..you click on the ones you want to print..you can click on 5 at a time..after uploading 5 you hit print button..then it uploads the 5 pictures...then you can always hit the back button and print more and more and more..once you are done uploading all of the ones you want to print at walgreens, then it says "would you like to upload more?"..you hit "no" when you are done..then an "order prints" screen comes up..you can choose how many of each print you want and what size (i wish you could choose for each individual print, but you can't)..each 4x6 is .29 cents which is pretty pricey..but I looked for a coupon code online...used the code PRINTIT40 (good until aug 4) and got 40% off the prints. Then you choose a walgreens store to send them too..and type in your contact info. Then submit. and enjoy touching, feeling, and framing your iphone pictures..finallly!!!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
still here
I am certain if you don't have me on your blogreader, I have lost your readership (is that a word?)...For this long break in blogging, I will blame the iphone and life. I can't publish on my iphone, and I NEVER get to sit in front of my computer...either life is busy, or Jack is on. It seems since my iphone, he has claimed the office pc for his own. All is fair in love. He doesn't have an psycho, super addictive, new way to organize/life machine iphone, so I call it a great trade.
I didn't have a lot to say, just wanted all to know that I do still blogin theory. I read all of your blogs more than I actually write something. However, I am certain I will one day encounter one of those moments when you start writing a blog in your head and can't wait to get to a keyboard so you can unload it into the blog-sphere (sp? word?).
Until then, let's continue to live a life of repentance as we love and serve Jesus.
I didn't have a lot to say, just wanted all to know that I do still blog
Until then, let's continue to live a life of repentance as we love and serve Jesus.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
it.is.finished.
this world bombards women on all sides..guilt if you stay at home and don't bring in money..guilt if you go to work and don't stay home..guilt if you send your kids to day care...guilt if you don't send them for enrichment early..guilt if you send them upstairs for rest time..guilt if you don't let them have independent play..guilt if you wash the dishes and turn your back while they play alone..guilt if you leave a pile of dishes in the sink while you play with them...guilt if you let your kids watch tv..guilt if you don't let your kids experience technology...
being a woman means having to have an answer for everything you choose to do and everything you choose not to do..IT.IS.EXHAUSTING. or is it?
So when I read this article floating around Facebook called, "Hands Free Mama"..I added one more thing to my list of things that I could feel guilt about. geeesh! Let me just say right up front that I definitely need to repent of spending mindless time in front of my iPhone screen..while my kids are playing..while I could be talking to them..Jackson has even said, "Mommy, will you listen to me?" I for sure have some work to do with being more hands on with my kids.
When I need answers on how to think..I try to default to scripture. What does God think about my role as a woman/wife/mother? I know iPhones weren't invented back then..and maybe there are a lot of cultural jobs that don't translate into now..but what is important to Christ?
This is what Christ has called us to..straight from Proverbs 31.
noble character, lacking no value, brings family good, eager to work, thoughtful, works vigorously, strength, kind to those less fortunate, confidence in the Lord's protection of her family, profitable for her family, dignity, wise, shares faithful instruction, isn't idle, fears the Lord...
My iPhone assists me in relating to this world..it is helpful in assisting me with completing the tasks that Christ has called me to do..it is not sin..it will not make you a better mama if you don't have one. It is idleness, laziness, obsession with a thing that is sin. Repent...turn away and fall into Jesus who knows that you aren't going to do everything perfectly...Talk about your tendencies towards sin to your children, to your husband..to your friends. Share with them that you fall short and that Christ loves you and fills that gap.
Who can illustrate the character of Christ perfectly? Christ. Who do I claim when I am not noble, when I lack value, when I bring my family evil, when I am not eager to do the work, when I am lazy, and weak, and thoughtless..when I fear and doubt Christ's protection of my family, when I am idle...when I lack wisdom...I turn away from the sin that so easily entangles me and I turn to Christ who loves me. No.room.for.guilt. Jesus freed us from the guilt of our sin when he died in our place on the cross.
Let's not beat each other over the head with how short we fall and perpetuate the guilt that so easily brings us to a place of helplessness..let's point each other toward the One who conquered sin and said, "It.is.finished." (john 19:30)
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
being a woman means having to have an answer for everything you choose to do and everything you choose not to do..IT.IS.EXHAUSTING. or is it?
So when I read this article floating around Facebook called, "Hands Free Mama"..I added one more thing to my list of things that I could feel guilt about. geeesh! Let me just say right up front that I definitely need to repent of spending mindless time in front of my iPhone screen..while my kids are playing..while I could be talking to them..Jackson has even said, "Mommy, will you listen to me?" I for sure have some work to do with being more hands on with my kids.
When I need answers on how to think..I try to default to scripture. What does God think about my role as a woman/wife/mother? I know iPhones weren't invented back then..and maybe there are a lot of cultural jobs that don't translate into now..but what is important to Christ?
This is what Christ has called us to..straight from Proverbs 31.
noble character, lacking no value, brings family good, eager to work, thoughtful, works vigorously, strength, kind to those less fortunate, confidence in the Lord's protection of her family, profitable for her family, dignity, wise, shares faithful instruction, isn't idle, fears the Lord...
My iPhone assists me in relating to this world..it is helpful in assisting me with completing the tasks that Christ has called me to do..it is not sin..it will not make you a better mama if you don't have one. It is idleness, laziness, obsession with a thing that is sin. Repent...turn away and fall into Jesus who knows that you aren't going to do everything perfectly...Talk about your tendencies towards sin to your children, to your husband..to your friends. Share with them that you fall short and that Christ loves you and fills that gap.
Who can illustrate the character of Christ perfectly? Christ. Who do I claim when I am not noble, when I lack value, when I bring my family evil, when I am not eager to do the work, when I am lazy, and weak, and thoughtless..when I fear and doubt Christ's protection of my family, when I am idle...when I lack wisdom...I turn away from the sin that so easily entangles me and I turn to Christ who loves me. No.room.for.guilt. Jesus freed us from the guilt of our sin when he died in our place on the cross.
Let's not beat each other over the head with how short we fall and perpetuate the guilt that so easily brings us to a place of helplessness..let's point each other toward the One who conquered sin and said, "It.is.finished." (john 19:30)
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
right to the heart of the matter
I love this below chapter from the devotion book I am reading right now...It is just so perfect at describing exactly where I am right now. I can feel the war inside of my soul right now..I can really see/feel the strong contrast between the light of Christ and the darkness of my sin..I am very aware of many areas of sin that I am holding onto. I have just come to a place of prayer and constant repentance..filling my airspace with Christ, so that the sin can't breathe...as I live second by second with the awareness of how far short I fall.
Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by: Paul David Tripp
page 59 in Ch. 18 Unfailing Love
I wish I would live with You in view;
Eyes to Your glory
Ears to Your wisdom
Heart for your grace.
But I live with me in view.
Eyes to my kingdom
Ears for my opinion
Heart captured by my will.
I know I was made for You,
I know that Hope
Meaning
Purpose
Identity
My agenda for every day,
Is to be found in You.
But I want my own kingdom
I love my own glory
I define my own meaning
I delight in my control.
I know You are not fooled
By my burnt offerings.
There's a war that never ends:
The battleground is my heart.
It's a moral skirmish
Between what You have ordained
And what I want.
So I don't find pleasure in Your glory,
I don't delight in Your law.
But my heart doesn't rest;
I know there's a better way.
I know You are God
And I am not.
My sin is more than
Bad behavior
A bad choice
Wrong words.
My sin is a violation of the relationship
That I was meant to have with You.
My sin is an act
Where I replace You
With something I love more.
Every wrong thing I do
Reflects
A lack of love for You,
Reflects
A love of self.
Help me
To see
To acknowledge
To weep
And say,
"Against You, You only have I sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight."
And then help me to rest
In Your mercy
In Your tender mercy
In Your faithful love,
Even as the war goes on.
What thing in life do you tend to want so badly that it tends to control you more than God's call, God's grace, God's glory, and God's kingdom?
What does it look like to embrace God's mercy and faithful love in the midst of the war?
Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by: Paul David Tripp
page 59 in Ch. 18 Unfailing Love
I wish I would live with You in view;
Eyes to Your glory
Ears to Your wisdom
Heart for your grace.
But I live with me in view.
Eyes to my kingdom
Ears for my opinion
Heart captured by my will.
I know I was made for You,
I know that Hope
Meaning
Purpose
Identity
My agenda for every day,
Is to be found in You.
But I want my own kingdom
I love my own glory
I define my own meaning
I delight in my control.
I know You are not fooled
By my burnt offerings.
There's a war that never ends:
The battleground is my heart.
It's a moral skirmish
Between what You have ordained
And what I want.
So I don't find pleasure in Your glory,
I don't delight in Your law.
But my heart doesn't rest;
I know there's a better way.
I know You are God
And I am not.
My sin is more than
Bad behavior
A bad choice
Wrong words.
My sin is a violation of the relationship
That I was meant to have with You.
My sin is an act
Where I replace You
With something I love more.
Every wrong thing I do
Reflects
A lack of love for You,
Reflects
A love of self.
Help me
To see
To acknowledge
To weep
And say,
"Against You, You only have I sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight."
And then help me to rest
In Your mercy
In Your tender mercy
In Your faithful love,
Even as the war goes on.
What thing in life do you tend to want so badly that it tends to control you more than God's call, God's grace, God's glory, and God's kingdom?
What does it look like to embrace God's mercy and faithful love in the midst of the war?
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
what really matters
let me get naked on here for a minute..
now that I got your attention, emotional nakedness is what I speak of..
I don't know if you remember this post...well, that day at the UGA game when I was uncomfortable with the outfit I had chosen and the body that was under the ugly outfit...repeated itself (sort of like that movie, Groundhog Day) many days before that day in September and many days after that day in september...The day would usually start with me looking in the full body mirror that is situated in my closet at outfit after outfit as I tore the fourth shirt off of my head because the second pair of jeans that I squeezed into wouldn't work with THAT shirt because it was too tight and you could see my muffin top..need a bigger shirt..no, need a bigger pair of pants..well, maybe that fourth shirt will work with this third pair of pants? blood pressure rising..sweat begins to form on my forehead..you get me, I know you do..although, I pray you don't...and you never have to endure such a struggle in your closet.
I looked at my reflection..at my eyes as they searched for just one thing..just one thing that would look amazing..and I remember in my subconscious thinking, "Lord, just take this extra weight away! Please, I know I never thought twice about what I was wearing before when I was slim..I just threw something on..Lord, make me back the way I was when I was confident!"
35 of the 40 pounds are finally gone!!! Celebration!!! Praise God! Thank you Lord for helping me fit back into my skinny jeans!! Thank you for helping me to survive bathing suit shopping at target!! Thank you for helping me look great in my small t-shirts again! Problems solved, right?!
Wrong. I am here from the slimmer side to share some truth. It.didn't.go.away. The problem looks different, but it didn't go away. Tonight, I was sitting in the tub, where my two boys don't join me..therefore, where most of my thinking happens..This is the part that is hardest to type..the part where I get naked..and talk about my "now" thoughts.
Thoughts: "Thank you Lord for my body..I can actually look at it now without being critical..only 5 more pounds to lose..thank you for that fitness pal app on the iphone..maybe I will write a journal entry about how great it is...thank you for providing friends that support me and help me on my weight loss journey..and walk with me..and inspire me to look great...i look great...i hope i can maintain this weight..i actually fit into ALL of my clothes..I feel sexy...and on and on and on...more of the same thoughts about my body, my clothes, my progress, my runs, my pace times, my ...."
Getting healthy is great! My Fitness Pal app is genius! Whoever thought of it deserves a prestigious award! Looking great in jeans is a definite perk..BUT where is the room in my streaming thoughts for what is eternal?
Laying in bed tonight, I read a really applicable chapter in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp (thanks God!)..The whole book is focused around Psalm 51.
now that I got your attention, emotional nakedness is what I speak of..
I don't know if you remember this post...well, that day at the UGA game when I was uncomfortable with the outfit I had chosen and the body that was under the ugly outfit...repeated itself (sort of like that movie, Groundhog Day) many days before that day in September and many days after that day in september...The day would usually start with me looking in the full body mirror that is situated in my closet at outfit after outfit as I tore the fourth shirt off of my head because the second pair of jeans that I squeezed into wouldn't work with THAT shirt because it was too tight and you could see my muffin top..need a bigger shirt..no, need a bigger pair of pants..well, maybe that fourth shirt will work with this third pair of pants? blood pressure rising..sweat begins to form on my forehead..you get me, I know you do..although, I pray you don't...and you never have to endure such a struggle in your closet.
I looked at my reflection..at my eyes as they searched for just one thing..just one thing that would look amazing..and I remember in my subconscious thinking, "Lord, just take this extra weight away! Please, I know I never thought twice about what I was wearing before when I was slim..I just threw something on..Lord, make me back the way I was when I was confident!"
35 of the 40 pounds are finally gone!!! Celebration!!! Praise God! Thank you Lord for helping me fit back into my skinny jeans!! Thank you for helping me to survive bathing suit shopping at target!! Thank you for helping me look great in my small t-shirts again! Problems solved, right?!
Wrong. I am here from the slimmer side to share some truth. It.didn't.go.away. The problem looks different, but it didn't go away. Tonight, I was sitting in the tub, where my two boys don't join me..therefore, where most of my thinking happens..This is the part that is hardest to type..the part where I get naked..and talk about my "now" thoughts.
Thoughts: "Thank you Lord for my body..I can actually look at it now without being critical..only 5 more pounds to lose..thank you for that fitness pal app on the iphone..maybe I will write a journal entry about how great it is...thank you for providing friends that support me and help me on my weight loss journey..and walk with me..and inspire me to look great...i look great...i hope i can maintain this weight..i actually fit into ALL of my clothes..I feel sexy...and on and on and on...more of the same thoughts about my body, my clothes, my progress, my runs, my pace times, my ...."
Getting healthy is great! My Fitness Pal app is genius! Whoever thought of it deserves a prestigious award! Looking great in jeans is a definite perk..BUT where is the room in my streaming thoughts for what is eternal?
Laying in bed tonight, I read a really applicable chapter in Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp (thanks God!)..The whole book is focused around Psalm 51.
(a little background)
Psalm 51 is a psalm about how God meets David (and us) in his moment of greatest sin (watching Bathsheba bathe, taking her to bed with him, killing her husband...etc...--you couldn't get content this juicy on your juiciest Bachelor episode..) and transforms Him (and us) by His amazing Grace.
So after David has confessed to God all of His putrid sin, he ends his prayer with a prayer for prosperity..The really applicable chapter that I read tonight. Chapter 16 The Gospel of Prosperity is a chapter that focuses in on the following verses:
Psalm 51:18-19
New International Version (NIV)
18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
New International Version (NIV)
18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
David isn't requesting to look great in His skinny jeans..so that he can get dressed in the morning without emotional distress..He doesn't even pray for the Zion to prosper so that it will be a nation that needs no God interventions...what he requests is not a prayer for personal or social prosperity. He has lived a selfish existence..and he has been changed by the living God. David is asking for God to prosper His nation, so that they will begin living for God's kingdom and God's glory.
My idol is my body. When I am fat, I obsess about it. When I am not fat, I obsess about it. I can't take it with me when I die. It won't help my friends know Jesus, when they see me looking HOT in my size 2 jeans (a girl can still dream..lol)...
It is here that I must repent of worshiping what is not the Living God. Turn away from thoughts of me. I am nothing without Christ. My sin is obvious before me, before you, before Him..
Matthew 6:19 (NLT)
“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[d] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[d] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
It is my hope and prayer that as I confess my sin to you..you will read words that sound familiar. That maybe, if you haven't already, you will begin to see your own sin. What is your answer for sin? Does it have a place in the way you think about life? My answer for sin can be found in Scripture...in the person of Jesus Christ. He took my sin (and your sin) upon Himself on a wooden cross..committed his spirit into the hands of Satan.. ascended into Hell...and defeated death..rose from death..is the only one who can defeat sin and death..and my idol is no surprise to Him.
He loves me.
without condition.
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