real

i went on a women's retreat a few weeks ago..and one of the things that stalked me when i got home was a truth that I learned about keeping it real. i try to keep it real..tell the bad and the ugly stuff...but at this retreat, it occurred to me that, while keeping it real, i can tend to complain or grumble about the plate that the Lord has handed me...today i am just wanting to tell a goody...a gift the Lord gave me today through Jackson.

the past month or so jackson has really been struggling with perfectionism..and we have also been learning the letters of his name. How the perfectionism manifests itself in learning his letters is..let me give you an example: Last Friday we were doing chalk letters outside on the sidewalk...jackson would go FAR away from me and write his letters in secret.  He called me over to see his "J" after he finished many minutes of drawing letters. I came over and was so excited about all that he had done..he did an "A" and a "C" AND the "J" that he wanted to show me. I was so proud of him. But he started crying..saying that the "A" and the "C" were actually a ladder and a man consecutively...I knew that they were letters that he didn't like, so he was making them into something else.  The only thing I could do is pray for that little man's heart that he will Know the truth..that Jesus is the only perfect one and we can enjoy the freedom of relying on Him for His grace amidst our shortcomings.

so fast forward to today. today i sat with jackson at the writing table and we were working on writing his name again..he wrote the whole thing (i helped with the k and the s--and he let me!) and had a smile on his face the WHOLE TIME!  The name wasn't written perfectly..but He enjoyed writing it..and he completed it without making a letter into a ladder or a man!

as i was putting a load into the laundry, I remembered that smile that he had on his face...

the Lord used me to teach my son to write his name AND to teach my little man an important truth in His word...and I see growth!

i got goose bumps in that moment.

on children (in a post to a friend on facebook)

Having Jackson and Ryan Jefferson is the most rewarding job I have ever been given the privilege of doing. Children are a huge blessing from the Lord. Just like anything worthwhile, you have to sacrifice and work hard. Other things under the same category would be the christian walk, marriage, siblings, relationships of any kind..loving something more than yourself doesn't come naturally to sinful human beings but sacrificial love forces us to come face to face with Christ. Staring into Christ's eyes is the only way I ever want to live. Follow His calling and you will struggle but you will be fulfilled as you lead a life that glorifies Him. I know that was a little more than you asked for but I have been thinking on this a lot lately..how thankful I am for the way He is teaching me to love and teaching me about himself through my children.

on paul

have been studying the book of acts in women's bible study this season..the book of acts follows the spread of the gospel after Jesus is taken up to heaven. verse 7 gives a summary of the movement of the message.."you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

as readers, we have been following paul's journey as he shares the gospel with jews and gentiles, rich and poor, women and men, educated and uneducated...etc.

you know how things can kind of stalk you? ex. a song lyric you can't get out of your head, an idea that you MUST carry out in order to get it off of your mind, or maybe a truth from a sermon that just keeps rolling around in your head and heart...

the truth from Acts that is stalking me is this..
paul had many relationships and conversations on his journey. he comes into contact with believers and unbelievers. with his believing friends, he encourages them in their journey with Christ..encouraging movement toward knowing Christ and spreading His word to others.  with his unbelieving friends, he shares about the fulfillment of the law in the person of Jesus...He spreads the Gospel message to all who have ears.  His life is about that..his mission is about that...he loses friends, his plans get thrwarted, he is faced with people who don't like him because of what he professes, he is even flogged for things he didn't even do...but still...paul is about the business of Christ.

now I know the bible doesn't tell us everything that every disciple did or said, and I know that paul was not a perfect man..after all, he is the one that is famous for the "do, do" passage in scripture. (Romans 7:19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me)


but it is clear that there wasn't a lot of fluff in paul's life...wasn't a lot of coasting friendships in Jerusalem...wasn't a ton of complaining when things didn't turn out how he'd hoped...wasn't a ton of whining when he was flogged without reason...

Paul had a single purpose and he didn't seem to lose sight of his mission.  The Lord used him to bring Himself glory even to the ends of the earth.

Acts 28:30 He proclaimed the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ—with all boldness and without hindrance!

Lord, I confess to you that I care a ton about myself.  I want my friends to like me. With my believing friends, I often don't care enough to ask real questions and love them well. With my unbelieving friends, I tend to converse about the safe and steer away from the uncomfortable..I don't love them enough to share the hope that is within my soul.  I want my relationships to be easy. I spend more time talking about my fitness, my iphone, my facebook, my shows, the weather, my sons, etc. than I would like to admit.  Because of this, it feels weird to even utter your name, Jesus.  I immediately turn red when my friendly conversation shifts to testifying about what you are doing in my life.  Father, please forgive me for my dualism...show me how to love deeply, show me how to be about bringing you glory. Amen.